He loved you like theives love gold and secrets. With avarice desire and mischevious intentions. And you loved him back. You loved him like your time was near and every kiss was your last. You loved and you were terrifyingly vulnerable, with open minds and open hearts, bearing your soul, because that was the only way you knew how.
He had no walls to break down; you put none up to begin with. But now every wall is up and they are covered in his colorful defacement. Gorgeous blues and reds and vibrant purples. Him. He's all over your lungs and shattered heart. To fix it completely would be unbearable and almost impossible, because he stole some of the pieces. Now he's gone.
You aren't prepared, but here comes the dark circles under your eyes, sobs to no one, and hugging the pillow you scream into, wishing it was him. So when the next guy comes, be careful. He will brush his fingers across your thigh and say he didn't mean to. He will look into your bright and curious eyes and say that they hypnotize him. He will run his hands through your hair because he likes how long it is. He will tell you his favorite song knowing it will get stuck in your head. He will kiss your lips til they go numb and hold your hand til it hurts. Don't watch the stars with him, because you won't be able to again without missing the warmth of his body next to you and the smell of his cologne. Don't let him give you a nickname because it will be a stab in the gut hearing it from anyone else. Your head and heart will be heavy, but make sure you remember you were beautiful before he said so.
Because I've heard that the hardest thing you will ever have to do is watch someone you have loved, love someone else. So don't be selfish. If you don't love the way her nose wrinkles when she laughs, or how she bites her nails when she is thinking, let her go. If you don't see her as a work of art that should be loved and cherished, someone else will. So don't be selfish. If you don't feel butterflies when she tucks her hair behind her ear when she is nervous or the way toothpaste dribbles off of her chin when she brushes her teeth, let her go. If your heart doesn't almost burst out of you when you wake up next to her, know that someone else would kill for that.
Being with someone and knowing you don't love them is criminal. Not only is it insanely cruel, but it is holding them back from someone who could give them the world. Someone that the thought of her would make them smile even on the worst of days. Someone that can hardly think and gets red in the face when they see her walking towards them. Her voice could soothe them through their nightmares. If that isn't you, let her go. Leave her be. She is magnificent and she is magic. She deserves someone who believes that every single moment of every day, not just sometimes. But if that is you, why would ever think it is okay to make her think you care, and then just drop her and leave her broken? It isn't and never will be okay. If you don't love this girl, then goddammit, let her know that. Make it abundantly clear. It will hurt like hell, but atleast she won't have anymore painful memories that you won't ever think about, but she will.
And if you do care, don't just leave her because she makes you feel things you don't want to feel. Be a man and tell her what you are thinking, Show her how you are feeling. I promise she will try her hardest to understand. But don't you dare just leave her and make her think she meant nothing to you. Don't make her feel like she is a regret. Stay and explain. Don't just leave. I'm begging you.
Save her the heartache if you can't see life without her. But if you do leave, do it now to stop the pain. Being broken hurts. It takes so long to build yourself back up again, and even once you do, you live in fear. Just explain. Be there. Stay in love. Give her what she deserves. See her as the masterpiece that she is. It will end up saving her, trust me.
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